Connection Vs Attachment

A big part of the earth healing techniques I talk about are based on having connections with other living things, rather than attachments. Connections are egoless and through the heart. They are 100% accepting of the other and there are no obligations for the other to act in a certain way in order for them to receive your love. Attachments on the other hand are more troublesome. In attached relationships, you only love the other if they act the way you like them to. You expect them to be there for you whenever you require and they need to do something in return for your affection.

Surely the majority of us have connections with the people we love, right? We ain’t mean enough to do all the things listed in attached relationships. Wrong. I guarantee you that the majority of the relationships you have are attachments. Do you expect your children to go to university? Attached. Do you expect your best friend to call you on your birthday? Attached. Is your husband required to stay with you for life? Yep, attached.

A good example of an attached relationship is one you might have with your pet. You love that pet, sure, but you expect it to act in a certain way. When it doesn’t, it upsets you. Just think of how pissed off you get when it pees inside the house. And heaven forbid if that dog ever up and left you for another family which made it happier. You would be heartbroken and probably annoyed that you had put so much energy into looking after it for no thanks.

An example of a connection with something, on the other hand, is what you might have with a creature in nature. For instance, a butterfly you find yourself admiring as it floats on past you. You appreciate it for what it is in that moment. You fully accept it with no judgement. You don’t care where it goes to next, or where it has been, and you don’t expect it to love you back.

I’m the first one to admit that it’s damned hard not to be attached to your loved ones and pets. Our emotions make it difficult not to be. You want the best for them. You want them to be safe. You want them to be happy. The problem is, do you really know what’s best for them? Do you really know what will make them happy? Are you sure what you want for them isn’t just what will make you happy?

Alright, so maybe you do have SOME attachments to others. Is it really that bad? Well, when you have an attachment to something, you depend on it to lift you up in some way. The relationship is always going really well or really badly and your happiness depends on it to some extent. In other words, instead of making yourself happy, you are relying on an external source to do it for you. I’m sure it comes as no surprise that this type of happiness is not sustainable. Attachments also drain your energy because you are always either trying to mould them into what you want, or you are changing yourself to please them.  

Having a connection with someone doesn’t actually take any energy. You accept them. They accept you. Fully. Full stop.

I’m not trying to tell anyone to cut their relationships with loved ones here. In a healing session, it’s extremely important not to be attached to the client as it limits energy flow, but the aim of this blog post is to simply make people aware of the different types of relationships we have in everyday life. Awareness in itself can be of benefit.

Do you have any amazing connections with anyone? What's your secret?