In relationships, we can get pretty caught up on who is right all the time. Well our egos can anyway. But do differences between us really need to cause us so much angst? In my relationship with my boyfriend, the biggest difference between us is no doubt the way we each prefer to organise our lives.
I like to think of myself as pretty organised. Okay, VERY organised. I have goals extending out as far as 20 years (like my lifelong dream of opening a self-sustaining healing centre for animals and people), and various other shorter term plans. I have a daily schedule in my head, with time allocated for each planned activity (and as my friends will attest, changes to the daily schedule are not very welcomed) and I like to budget. Granted I am much less skilled at actually sticking to budgets.
My boyfriend, on the other hand, takes a much more ‘go with the flow’ approach to planning life. He is spontaneous and thinks of things to do on the spot. His future plans consist of which movies he would like to see next and what his next meal will be. I once heard him whisper ‘Yes!!’ to himself when he thought he was alone and when I inquired what it was about, he said he realised that he would be able to have an awesome miso soup for lunch because he was going to be near the restaurant he liked.
This is us on holiday. He is thinking about which type of sauce he will have on his sausage roll. I am thinking about what I should put in my work budget next year.
So who’s way is better? Naturally mine of course, because I set the direction of my life and achieve the things I set out to do. Dirrr. Except, the wiser part of me knows that my way is not better at all. And his way is not better than mine.
The fact is that I could do with a bit more of what he does, and he could do with a bit more of what I do.
The thing about being super organised like I am is that, if you’re not careful, you forget to stop and smell the roses. You don’t see what’s happening right in front of your eyes and you don’t appreciate what you’ve got until you’ve lost it. Life passes you by.
I love spending time with my boyfriend because he reminds me of this often just by being himself. His spontaneity snaps me out of being so focused on my plans and keeps me in the moment. I’ve also come to realise that spontaneity is key for remaining young at heart.
So, even though my boyfriend and I are at completely opposite ends of the organisation scale, it works perfectly. I learn from him, he learns from me, and we grow together.
Do you have any opposite traits to your partner? How do you find it?